it was darker than december

it was that sorta dream again
you offered sweet nothingness
whispered of ardor and promises
entangled with the whitest pearls
but i refused to believe
i was scared
scared to fall into the same old fairy tale
once again
you offered reassurance and penance
i pushed them away
blinded by depression and lost faith
i was afraid
i lost belief in you
you were always up above the pedestal
i never see myself as a tiny part of it
this time you did not offer any justification,reasons
you painted me in the darkest black
left stranded in the empty school alley
disappeared in the midst of black smoke

if i accepted, i know you'd stay
if i could do it all over again, i would
you meant something, you are always something
life never really moves on
aroused by the same dream again